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Have managed to get myself incarcerated in Milan. (Nice view of the city from my cell, by the way. Am considering developing a striped font- now that i have some time on my hands.)

It has been said: never try to bribe a castrato with cheese. And I never have. But how was I to know that there's a corrolary to that adage involving carbon credits and tax collectors. Luckily I've got Cardinal Vespucci to vouch for my honor and/or sense of humor. Unfortunately he's in the Seychelles for the weekend and has turned off his cell.

All this because I'm driven to educate pasta eaters. Too bad people don't read the back of a vermicelli package like they would a corn flakes box. Alphabet soup remains my one hope